On the aeroplane to London. I'm sitting next to an English couple who are Spurs fans. Who says Chelsea and Spurs supporters can't be friends!
I wrote this blog:
I’ve got nothing. I really don’t know what to say right now. It has been a tough week saying lots of goodbyes to friends, clients, the client’s family and my own family. I’ve never been good at goodbyes, but who really is? It sucks. I mean no one really wants a snorty nose or to be seen as looking so vulnerable and showing so much emotion. But that’s life.
Throughout the 10 months of me being home, people have asked me; 'Why are you travelling solo again after what happened in Nepal? Are you not scared?'. I'll do my best to be courageous but of course I'm scared. But I would choose being scared now rather than feeling regret later on in life. If life was a game of soccer/football, I choose how much game time I give the player Fear. Does he start on the field and play the whole 90 mins? Is he a key player? Do I fear constantly everyday? Is he the captain? Or does he get occasionally subbed on when your team is winning towards the end of the game. I get to choose in my own life how often to play him and I don't want to give him much game time at all.
I can't get away from fear but I can withstand it. But I can't have courage without fear.
In the past few weeks leading up to this date, I’ve been so excited and whenever I talked about my adventure I would be so enthusiastic and ready for it. I would make myself seem confident and I would genuinely be confident and keen for the adventure. But in the last 24 hours I’ve been ‘confident’, you know what I’m sayin’? There’s a big difference when using the quotation marks. Wink Face.
Right before I left for the airport with my best friends, we were singing out Rivers and Roads by the Head and the Heart. Great song and it gets me emotional every time I sing it with those brothers who I trust with my life. As we were singing this song I was thinking; ‘is this the right thing to do?’ ‘should I leave my boys?’ ‘should I leave my family?’ ‘should I leave such a beautiful and loving country?’.
Yes. Yes, I should leave because I was starting to get too comfortable. I think of being too comfortable like a hot shower, I don’t want to get out and be ‘cold’ for a couple of seconds before I have a towel over myself. I would prefer to be in that luxuries hot shower for as long as possible and in that time my bones get soft and I become lazy. For me personally, once I start to get comfortable I become less adapting to testing situations and less open to new ideas, concepts, methods and lifestyles. Whilst having a cold shower, it can be quite uncomfortable and not exactly ideal to have in the morning. But once I get out of the shower I'm pumped and ready for the day. Anything that life throws at me, I'm a bit more equipped and switched on. In saying that, people are different, others might be their best version of themselves in their own home town, that might be there equivalent of a cold shower. No matter what continue to stir it up!
Etihad Wi-Fly is not cheap, so I'll wrap it up!
A new chapter, a new risk, a new adventure but the same silly Australian who should not be travelling. I mean I’m so unorganised, very forgetful and the Australian accent is the easiest of languages to understand. Let’s see what happens!
Also, just wanted to acknowledge that today is Anzac Day. Thank you to every individual soldier for stepping out and protecting us. I’m very grateful and unbelievably proud to come from the same land of those brave men and women. Lest We Forget.
End of Prologue.